Who Am I? Part 2

This is part 2 of a series on Who Am I?

Finding Trust

To find truth it is also necessary to discover trustworthy sources. It is very difficult to trust, especially once you feel trust has been broken. But trust can be gained one piece at a time, one idea at a time; seeing the reason and beauty behind things that can be regarded and counted on to remain consistent or constant… and worthy of your trust.

Gaining trust and finding truth go hand in hand. It requires being introduced to new ideas, new concepts, learning things you have never heard of before. To find truth, you have to learn, and you have to become aware.

New truth can take a period of adjustment. It can be a new twist on something you had already believed, but adding additional insight that requires an adjustment; or it can be something completely foreign to you; and it takes time to fit it in to your belief system and find out how it links up.

Sometimes an idea is so big and complex you are not sure what to do with it. At times like these you can run into a barrier, and it can be difficult to get past it. Sometimes, things catch you completely off guard. Some truths are very hard to understand. It either bothers you and you want to reject it outright; or it sounds like maybe it is true, but you can’t accept or deal with it at face value. I have experienced this many times, and still do. Some truths take time to be considered, looked at from every angle; pondered on… to work out all the details, before they can be wrested. If you find yourself learning a thing, and thinking it sounds like it might be true, but it also has some difficult or even disturbing elements to it, that is ok. Just let it alone for a while, and come back to it later.

Often, over time, things have a way of working themselves out in your mind. But sometimes you find there is something wrong, or there are true and false ideas mixed up together, and you sort them out. Going through this process helps you to find truths are interconnected, and begin to verify and validate each other, even though at first some of them seem to be in conflict.

This allows you to build trust that there is a truth out there to be found, and that you are actually finding it along the way.

Finding Answers

When I was 21 years old, I had one of these moments where I had serious questions and doubts about myself and my life’s direction, down to the core of everything I believed. There did not seem to be any satisfactory answers to several of my questions. I could not find the answers, hope, or a way forward, and was not sure what I should do.

Earlier, when I was 19, I had been told by a man I greatly admired that I should always be thinking a new thought, I should never reach a point that I just became satisfied… and stopped learning. That I should always be seeking out new knowledge and information to improve and expand myself and challenge myself.

I took that advice to heart because it seemed reasonable to me. Because of that advice, I have always had a book at my bedside to study. I always take some time before the day is over to read, and open my mind to some new ideas someone is sharing. I now own and have read many books, listened to many lectures, listen to many voices and still do. Learning is a process that can become contagious, and valuable, and now I find there are many books at my bedside at the same time, there is so much I want to know and learn. The internet, today, is also a most valuable resource I did not have in my earlier life; and another place we can search out truth.

This has been the most valuable advice; and one of the most rewarding exercises I have ever experienced.  It has been a blessing to me over my lifetime with figuring out what this life is all about, and getting the answers to my questions. I often chose books about things I was troubled over and needed more insight; or more information to come to clarity, or a solution in finding an answer I just didn’t have.

I love to study history, and how events earlier in time came to be; and what motivated those people to do what they did. These people changed the world in their times, and to a large extent this has affected all of us in the future.

So, what was the outcome of that 21 year-old, with those critical questions of my youth? Over time I was able to get every question answered, because of this study I was encouraged to do. Some of my answers came in a short time, some after several years; one, in particular, did not come for about 34 years.  It continued to elude me. Finally, I began to understand the reason behind it. Some time I will share it with you.

Also, through this study, many new questions were raised and answered for me.

Running Away From, or Avoiding the Truth

The worse thing to do, is nothing with your mind; to not do anything valuable to develop or inform it. To allow troubling ideas or concerns to just sit and do nothing about them; but be disturbed and injured by them.

Some attempt to silence the pain or unanswered troubling questions in their lives with harmful substance use and abuse; thinking you can run away or hide from them; or nullify their effects. Some indulge in drug use merely for recreational purposes and to have fun; but the outcome is the same… because this becomes a problem you now have to deal with.

This causes the inner conflicts and unanswered questions to become lodged in your mind and life.  You can’t work them out, and you can’t be at peace, which brings on suicidal thoughts and despair. I have known this kind of pain and emptiness too, but I have also found there is always a way out.

Trust is something that is real! Trust and faith, can lead us to the search for answers and truth. It can untie the knots in our minds, and provide solutions to troubling questions– which can melt away the pain; and can heal old wounds.

Trust and belief can lead to purpose and meaning in your life. The truth “can” set you free!

The Trick of Life

One critical thing I learned I want to share with you.

I came to learn (several years after that confusing and lonely time in my life), the reason I was not able to receive the truth then… and find my answers, was because I was missing critical information– and necessary life experience I lacked. My mind was not yet prepared for the answers I was seeking.  

Only by gaining that life experience (that as a young 21 year-old I did not possess), was I able to step outside that youthful mindset, and realize larger questions and answers were now available to me to unravel the mystery I felt inside. 

Had I allowed the sadness and misery to overtake me, and ended it all, I would never have existed to find these answers, and this truth!

I could now see far beyond that earlier, limited view! And realized because of my inadequate experience at this early age in my life, I had mental barriers beyond which I could not see, which would not be a problem in the future– but were very real to me at the time; and almost insurmountable.

The fact is, this is a process (we come to understand), will follow us throughout life. As we continue to learn and advance, the scales continue to fall from our eyes, giving new insight–as we search to remove barriers that remain with us. We should be constantly learning, and constantly progressing and overcoming, that which seems insurmountable in or lives.

This is “The Trick of Life”: “we think we see, because we can see”.

But that is not the truth! Maybe at the time it seems it is; but that is not the end of existence or the only vision we are capable of.  

If we don’t stop there, but we climb to greater heights (gaining knowledge and experience) we can look back at where we were, and realize we were in a valley with hills and mountain walls all around us restricting our view, which we could not see beyond at the time; but because we keep learning and climbing, we can now see beyond those hills and mountains to a greater vision of the world with much more landscape that has come into view.

We realize there is so much more to the world than we could see at the time. Because we have left that limited vantage point, and kept moving forward, we came to learn life is far more than what we had known it to be. And with this greater knowledge and experience comes greater sight, and expanded vision. 

So, the truth is, “who we are” is what we can see now… but it is also what we will come to see and know in the future, if we keep moving.

That is why two people with different experience looking at the same set of problems have different insight.  One is still in the valley; the other has climbed over the walls to understand there is more than what is currently in view.

The lesson is, that if you keep climbing, and don’t give up… only then do we find the truth… and keep on finding it.

Gaining Perspective and Wisdom

The longer we live, and the more we travel and experience in this journey of life, the more we can see, and the more we will know: to provide insight and wisdom going forward. With this valuable perspective and acquired knowledge we can look to and draw from, it gives us strength to endure in those dark times that come into all our lives.

Guidance Through Faith, and Positive Action

One of the most powerful truths I learned, is if we ask for help from above (God), and keep doing all that comes into our hearts and minds, there is always a way forward. We just need to keep going, and working at ourselves (to become better people) and solving the challenges we face.

And like a train moving down the track about to come to the end of the line where there is no more track… we just keep laying out new track before us… taking us somewhere; (not exactly sure where that is yet), but the future is a brighter place if we are holding to the truth we have, and keep moving… we will find the way forward.

Knowing What Life is, the Difficulties Become Manageable

Life never becomes perfect, or pain free, or free of challenge; that is the nature of this life for everyone.

But the lights did begin to come on, and purpose and meaning did come into my life to beat back the darkness and keep it at bay. Never gone, but under control!

I can make you this promise; those who will seek… will find. But liberation is not found in lies. It is the truth that sets us free.

The Truth is Born of Our Expedient Need

In examining the question of “who we are”? I believed: “truth” must hold the answer to all we face in life, good and bad.

I believed: it can’t be the truth, if it can’t satisfy our needs or help us. If it can’t bring meaning to our struggle, and answers to life’s tough questions.

I have since found those beliefs to be justified. The truth can satisfy and begin to comfort and complete us, and answer the questions of this life! The issue that is difficult: is this is a slow process, because we need to grow into these truths by our searching and becoming more educated and aware; and we will all grow and learn at different rates, because we are different; and have different abilities and strengths.

Usually, our greatest growth comes through our own suffering and struggle; causing us to rise above.

We will learn precept upon percept, a little here, and a little there; adding more and more, a piece at a time… until we complete the picture of truth.

“For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little.”  -Isaiah 28:9&10 Holy Bible, (KJV)

Finding out “who we are”, is the journey to the truth of life itself.

To be continued . . .